


And When You're Done, I'll Make You Do It All Again

by amethystfox



Series: I Could Live a Little More [21]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Aldertonghen, Blow Jobs, Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV: Jan, Tottenham Hotspur F.C., Tottenham Hotspur FC - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethystfox/pseuds/amethystfox
Summary: January 2020While Paulo and Winksy are busy with each other, Jan and Toby have their own fun...
Relationships: Toby Alderweireld/Jan Vertonghen
Series: I Could Live a Little More [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621807
Comments: 15
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece takes place concurrently with [Delegation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316354/chapters/58621915), picking up immediately after chapter 2, so make sure you've read that first ^_^

23 January 2020  
Hampstead

Jan leaned against the door with a sigh, letting his weight push it closed. It had been a strange, busy day. He had texted Sophie hours ago to let her know that he wouldn't be home for a while, promising to explain when he got home. He was home now, but utterly exhausted and _not_ looking forward to explaining it at all. She had shown so much patience with the expansion of his various relationships outside of their marriage. A flicker of guilt swept through him, trying to think about how he was going to explain this to her.

He hung his keys on the hook by the door and took off his shoes, then took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen.

As he'd expected, Sophie was sitting at the island in the kitchen, perched on a bar stool, reading a script with a glass of wine in her hand. She didn't look up when Jan came in, or when he poured himself a glass of ice water and took a seat next to her. Finally she glanced up briefly when he heaved a deep sigh.

"Have a good day, darling?" 

"More or less," he answered uncomfortably, taking a gulp of the water. He winced and set the glass down, rubbing at his jaw. "Kind of a strange one."

"Oh?" There was definitely an edge to her voice now.

"Yeah. I, um. Made a stupid bet with Harry last night."

"About what?"

"About… well, about Paulo. He still doesn't get it, can't wrap his head around me being able to love him and Paulo both. I'm really not sure if it's because he just doesn't understand polyamoury or if it's just that he feels particularly threatened by Paulo, though."

Sophie frowned, setting down her wineglass. "Just Paulo? Or does he resent me too?"

Jan coughed slightly. "Well, he doesn't say much about you ever, really. But I think maybe he's a little jealous of you, too. And the others. I think maybe if he had his wish it would just be me and him. But he likes you, so he doesn't say much."

Sophie sighed. "Well, he's young, I suppose. But what's the bet?"

Jan squirmed slightly. "It's stupid, really. I said something about him not understanding what I see in Paulo because Paulo's never really turned it on for him. Then he said that he could resist Paulo no matter what, and…"

"Oh, for goodness' sake," Sophie said, her lovely face exasperated. "So you bet him that Paulo could what, seduce him?"

Jan closed his eyes in embarrassment. It sounded so ridiculous when he tried to explain it. "Pretty much. They're going to spend a lot of time together over the next week, and…"

"Oh, _Jan,"_ Sophie said, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Not exactly the best way to resolve things between them, don't you think?"

Jan shrugged uncomfortably. "Maybe not, but they've both agreed, so it's out of my hands now." He winced as he met her eyes. "I _know,_ believe me. But that's not… not even the worst part," he faltered, wilting slightly as her eyes narrowed further.

"Go on," she said, her tone slightly scary now.

"Paulo wasn't what you would call happy about it either, when I told him," Jan said in a rush. "He decided to punish me."

"And how exactly did he punish you?"

"He… he gave me to Toby for the week."

Sophie stared at him incredulously for a second, then she burst out laughing. "He did _what?"_

Jan could feel his face burning. "While Paulo and Harry are busy with each other, I belong to Toby. On loan."

She sat back on her stool, laughing helplessly. "How do you get yourself into these things?"

Jan quickly drank the rest of his water, desperate both to cool his flushed face and to avoid answering. Luckily, Sophie didn't seem to expect an answer.

"So what is Toby going to have you doing all week?" she asked once she had finally calmed down.

"Blowing him, mostly, I think," Jan mumbled, not meeting her eyes. "Plus different little things, whenever we're not in public. Giving him massages, bringing him coffee, that kind of thing."

Sophie bit her lip, clearly trying to suppress her giggles. "Sounds like you're going to have a busy week, then. Will you still have any time for me?" Her voice was light, teasing, but she stopped short at the look on Jan's face.

"It's not that I won't have any time," he said hurriedly as her brows drew together in a sudden storm. "It's just… Toby… says I'm not allowed to come until he says."

"Excuse me?"

"Toby…" Jan began again, but she cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"I heard you. Are there any exceptions for when you're with me?"

Jan shook his head.

"And none of you boys thought to ask me first?"

Jan mutely shook his head again.

"Well, then." She drained her wine glass and picked up her script. "I'm going to bed."

"Sophie…"

She shot him a quick look over her shoulder, one eyebrow raised. "I'm not really in the mood to talk about it anymore right now, Jan. I expected a little more consideration from you. And from Toby. Good night."

Jan watched her go silently, letting out a long sigh when he heard the click of the bedroom door shutting behind her. _Guess I'll be sleeping in the guest room tonight._

He went through his bedtime routine half-heartedly, lost in thought as he picked up toys, wiped down the counters, made sure the door was locked and the security system set, and checked on the children one final time before turning in. They were both fast asleep, luckily. He stood in the door of the nursery for a while, watching them sleep, thinking.

When he finally crawled into bed in the guest room, he unlocked his phone and opened his texts.

_ <<To: Toby A [22:18]: Sophie's not happy about it. Doesn't want to talk about it right now. I'm in the guest room tonight. _

_ >>From: Toby A [22:18]: well… you are being punished, after all _

_ <<To: Toby A [22:18]: I wouldn't be too smug if I were you. She's not happy with you either. Says we should've talked to her first. _

Toby took his time replying.

_ >>From: Toby A [22:20]: I suppose I should have. I'll come apologise to her tomorrow. _

Jan considered for a while as well before responding, rubbing his sore jaw thoughtfully.

_ <<To: Toby A [22:21]: thank you _

_ >>From: Toby A [22:21]: you're welcome, Jantje _  
_ >>From: Toby A [22:21]: thanks for the orgasms _ 😏  
_ >>From: Toby A [22:22]: you were very good today _

Jan groaned. Being reminded of having sucked Toby's dick twice today-- and Paulo's once-- was enough to wake his cock back up. Soon he was painfully hard, trying with all his might to ignore it, to will it back down again, to stop reliving all of it, to stop remembering what it had been like to have Paulo and then Toby shove their dicks in his mouth, one right after the other, then being pushed down onto his knees again later, in Toby's shower, and swallowing his third mouthful of cum of that day with absolutely no hope of being allowed to come himself.

He grumbled to himself for a while about the unfairness of it all, deliberately ignoring the voice inside him, the one that said, _hey, you did fuck up, even if you didn't mean to. Not all that unfair._

He finally, somehow, fell asleep, tossing and turning and trying to find some position that would be comfortable without putting any pressure on his neglected cock.

His dreams that night were scattered, disjointed. He kept trying to make love to Sophie, but they kept getting interrupted, again and again, by Toby bursting into their bedroom, dragging Jan out of bed, and fucking his mouth, again and again, until he cried. 

He also kept seeing Paulo and Harry, walking down the street hand in hand, sharing a laugh over some private joke, or sitting together in some nice restaurant, feeding each other bites of their dinner. He seemed to be floating along behind them as they went on with their date. He watched through a window of some unfamiliar house as Paulo kissed Harry and undressed him. He didn't actually see them doing anything, though-- the lights went out just as they sank down onto the bed that was neither Paulo's nor Harry's, and he couldn't see anything at all. 

Then he was back in his own house again, tidying up before bedtime, trying to clean up a huge, unidentifiable mess that he knew he had made. The more he tried to clean it, though, the worse it seemed to get. Finally he gave up and went to check on the children again. He was standing in the doorway, watching them sleep, when suddenly his daughter opened her eyes. _"You are being punished, after all,"_ she said, but the voice that came from her lips was Sophie's.

_"I expect more consideration from you,"_ his son said, and _his_ voice sounded more like Harry's.

_"Oh, shut up,"_ Jan said irritably, and went off to bed in a bad temper. But when he went to get into his bed in the guest room, he found it was occupied. He could see through the darkness now, somehow, and he watched, unable to move a muscle, as Paulo and Harry fucked in his bed. He could see and hear absolutely everything now. Every whisper, every sigh, every single sound of skin on skin. He could see the look on Harry's face, the one he wore when he was riding Jan, the agony of not being allowed to touch himself, the way it changed into ecstasy when he finally came, untouched. He watched Harry ride Paulo, watched Paulo bend him over, watched Paulo pick Harry up and sit him down in his lap, or pin him against the wall. He watched them fuck a dozen different ways, and every single time Harry's face was the same, the agony building up until it was too much to bear, then melting into ecstasy as he hurtled over the edge and came explosively, all over Paulo, all over Jan's bed--

Jan jerked awake, gasping for breath, to find himself drenched in sweat and cum, his skin still twitching with aftershocks. _Fuck me,_ he thought in irritation. _I haven't had a wet dream since I was a teenager._

He changed the sheets and took a quick shower, dreading having to tell Toby about this in the morning. He hadn't done it on purpose, of course, but he had a sinking feeling that Toby still wouldn't be pleased that he had come without permission, even in his sleep. He rehearsed what he would say, how he would try to get Toby to understand, until finally he fell again into fitful slumber.

Jan woke in the morning bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and feeling as though his head were full of cotton wool. The dreams had rather unnerved him. He couldn't remember all the details now, but the image of Paulo and Harry having sex stayed with him, settling in as a slight, uncomfortable tightness in his belly as he dragged himself out of bed.

When he made his way to the kitchen, though, he was taken aback by what he saw. Sophie was sitting at the island again, talking intently with Toby and his wife. Giggles from the other room indicated that the kids were busy playing together.

"Good morning, darling," Sophie said with a smile, pushing a mug of coffee toward him. "You look like you need this."

"Didn't sleep well," Jan said absently, taking a grateful gulp of coffee. "Weird dreams." He wanted to ask what Toby and Shani were doing here, but first he set down the mug and looked at Sophie. "You don't seem as upset as you were last night," he said hesitantly.

"Well, it helped that Toby came over to apologise first thing this morning," Sophie said, glancing over at him as she spoke. Toby's ears were slightly pink. He hastily swallowed the bite of eggs he had been eating and put down his fork.

"I should've talked to you before I made up my mind how to punish him," Toby said to Sophie. "It was thoughtless, and I really am sorry."

She accepted the apology with good grace. "I appreciate that, Tobes. But it does still leave me a bit high and dry, don't you think?"

"We were thinking that maybe we can work something out," Shani said, exchanging a quick glance with Toby. "Same idea as usual, really, us spending time together to give the boys their privacy, but for this week I think they're going to need alone time at least once a day, don't you think?"

"At a minimum," Toby said, grinning at Jan, who felt his own ears growing hot. He stood up quickly and went to get himself a plate, helping himself to the pan of scrambled eggs on the stove.

"I appreciate that, too, but that's not what I meant. Jan's punishment is kind of a punishment for me too, wouldn't you say?"

"It doesn't have to be," Toby said, his grin turning positively feral. He threw a swift glance at the door to make sure that none of the children had wandered in, then leaned forward, his eyes intent on Jan's. "I'm thinking that for every time Jan makes me come this week, he needs to do the same for you. That would make it a bit fairer, don't you think?"

"But…" Jan protested weakly, his head spinning. "If I have to make you both come at least once a day, that's going to make it a little difficult to keep from coming myself, isn't it?"

Toby smirked at him. "That's kind of the point, Jantje. Besides, I have an idea that should help." He lifted his own mug and took a long sip of coffee, watching Jan over the rim.

"Are you going to tell me…?"

Toby set down the mug with a flourish. "You'll find out a little later today. For now, though…" Jan shuddered as he watched Toby's eyes darken. "Sophie, may I borrow a bedroom for just a bit?"

"I still need to shower and finish getting ready, so I'll need my room," she replied, sharing a knowing look with Shani. "How about the guest room?"

"Perfect." Toby's arm shot out, his hand closing around Jan's wrist, making him drop his fork onto his plate with a loud clatter. Jan hastily swallowed the bite of eggs he had just put in his mouth, but before he could begin to recover from his surprise, Toby was dragging him out of the kitchen.

Toby didn't say another word until the door of the guest room had been shut and locked behind them. He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at Jan through his eyelashes. "Come here, Jan," he said quietly, and despite the softness in his voice there was no doubting that it was an order.

Jan went to him and automatically knelt, readily responding to the dominance in Toby's demeanour, even if it felt strange coming from someone other than Paulo. "Yes, Toby?"

Toby groaned and leaned in, grabbing hold of Jan's chin and dragging his face up in order to kiss him. Toby's lips were warm and soft on his, as always, but there was a hunger in his kiss that was not at all typical. "God, I love the way you say that. Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are on your knees?" Toby's tongue thrust urgently into his mouth again, even as one of his hands slid around to the back of Jan's head, pulling his hair tight between strong fingers. The other hand trailed down Jan's arm to grab hold of his wrist again, bringing Jan's hand to rest on Toby's crotch, letting him feel how his dick strained against his jeans. Jan shivered, feeling his own body beginning to respond.

"Go on," Toby breathed, pulling back just a fraction. "I want to make it up to Sophie, so I want you to make sure to take care of her too before training. But before you do…"

Jan set to work eagerly enough. For all his complaints, this 'punishment' could have been far worse. He did love Toby, loved making him happy, loved making him come, and it was undeniably hot, getting to see the side of Toby that liked dominating Jan-- something he had only rarely ever gotten to experience.

He lowered his head to kiss the bulge under his hand, letting the heat of his breath penetrate the denim, making Toby groan. He kept his mouth on it even as he undid Toby's jeans, got them open, and reached in. He gave a small sigh of appreciation when he pulled Toby's dick out. It was hard to believe that he had ever overlooked the attraction between them, that he had somehow missed what they could have had all along. Now it felt natural, _right,_ as easy as breathing.

"Fuck," Toby sighed when Jan took him in his mouth. "God, Jan, you're so good…"

Toby's hands were in Jan's hair now, holding tight but not actually controlling his head. Jan moaned as he slid Toby further and further into his mouth, relaxing his throat with practised ease to let Toby push down his throat.

"That's right," Toby growled when Jan had his face completely buried in his crotch. "Good boy. Are you going to be a good boy for me all this week?"

Jan moaned again in response, his tongue busy tracing a path back up along the underside of Toby's dick.

"Going to suck my dick any time I want?" Jan glanced up just enough to see that Toby's eyes were wicked and hot as he looked down at Jan.

Jan pulled back until just the head of Toby's cock was resting on his tongue. "Yes, Toby," he mumbled around it, feeling a wash of heat surge through him. He felt his own dick throb in his pants, aching and heavy, but did his best to ignore it. It wasn't easy, though-- ever since he had started sucking dick on a regular basis, he had come to enjoy it more and more, to the point of often needing only a light touch more to lose himself right along with whoever he was swallowing.

But he couldn't afford to let that happen now. He had no idea what kind of punishment Toby might give him if he was disobedient enough to come without permission, but he would really rather not find out. Bad enough that he still needed to tell Toby about his wet dream last night, and hope that Toby wouldn't be too displeased. He closed his eyes and forced his mind away from his arousal, refocusing on Toby again. He sealed his lips around Toby's shaft again, running his tongue around the ridge, and sucked hard for a moment, then fed it back down his throat and began bobbing his head enthusiastically.

As usual when Jan did this, Toby let out a strangled gasp, his hands clutching at Jan's head almost convulsively. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed over and over again. "Fuck, Jan, that's it… love how much you love sucking my cock. You do, don't you? You fucking love it, don't you?"

Jan moaned and nodded as best he could. He did, he really, really did. He couldn't get enough of it-- not just with Toby, of course, he loved giving head in general, loved the feeling of power, the ability to make strong men go weak in the knees with only his tongue. 

"Such a slut for it," Toby gasped. "I bet… if Paulo let you… you'd blow the… the whole team… wouldn't you… Jan, fuck, I'm-- I'm coming, I--"

Jan made a fierce, happy little noise as Toby's hands pulled his hair even tighter, his cock started pulsing, and cum began to spill into his mouth. It was slightly sweet, as usual with Toby, and he let himself savour it for a long moment before he finally swallowed.

When he sat back on his heels, though, the shifting of his cock inside his pants sent an intense shiver through him, and his eyes flew open. "Toby, I… I'm close, I--"

"Don't you dare," Toby growled, and he bent forward to shove his hand inside Jan's joggers, grabbing his cock and squeezing hard in just the right place. Jan cried out, falling back and catching himself on his hands. His heart was hammering in his ears and he thought his cock might actually explode. It hurt, but he was grateful for it, too, grateful for the pain, grateful to have something to focus on besides how much he wanted-- needed-- to shove his dick through Toby's fist.

Finally the most intense of the sensations passed, and Jan's body began to relax slightly. He let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding and gasped, his chest heaving. He let his arms fold underneath him and sprawled back onto the floor, feeling like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

_I could do without being made of wood, though,_ he thought dazedly, lifting his head to glare down at his painfully hard dick.

"Good boy," Toby purred, which didn't help matters either. "Now, say thank you?"

"Th-thank you, Toby," Jan choked out, feeling his blood pressure gradually return to normal. Once his breathing had evened out a bit, Toby finally let go of him, allowing him to gingerly get up off the floor. He started to resume his position on his knees, but Toby stood and hauled Jan roughly to his feet, stripping off his clothes with ruthless efficiency.

"Shower, now," Toby ordered him, turning him in the direction of the bathroom and giving him a nudge. "Cold water."

Jan winced. "Toby, please--"

Toby's hand connected with his ass before he could get another word out, the sharp sting cutting off his protest. "Are you going to be a good boy or not?" Toby asked, his voice soft and silky. "I'd hate to have to tell Paulo that you didn't want to obey me, which is kind of the same as obeying _him_ right now, don't you think?"

Jan nodded silently, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"Then go."

"Yes, Toby," Jan murmured, glowing just a little when he heard a soft sound of pleasure from Toby at the submission. He turned to go, but stopped and turned back hesitantly.

"Is there something else?"

Jan nodded meekly. "I… I had a dream last night."

Toby's brow furrowed. "About what?"

"About… well, you, and Sophie, and Paulo and Harry, and it… I…" He bit his lip, not daring to look up into Toby's face. "It made me come," he said in a small voice. "I'm sorry."

Toby considered for a long moment, frowning. "You were asleep?"

"Yes, Toby."

"Well, I suppose you couldn't help that, so we'll let it go this once. But obviously we do need to do something about it." Toby gave him a sly smile and swatted him on the butt again. "Thank you for telling me. Now, go shower."


	2. Chapter 2

Training that day was far from easy for Jan. The cold shower had done its job, at least temporarily, but Jan could still feel it all day, that ache deep in his balls, almost an itch just underneath the surface of his skin that couldn't be scratched. He had to completely tune out the presence of three people he was sleeping with on the training pitch with him, keep his eyes firmly averted in the dressing room and showers to avoid embarrassing himself. He knew that the others could see how distracted he was, knew the manager could probably see it too, but he couldn't do anything about it. If he stopped blocking out everything but the football, he would have to figure out how to play without giving himself away by running around with a tent in his shorts.

By the time he made it to lunch he was so dazed from his enforced dissociation that he didn't even hear the others' voices around him anymore. At one point he blinked, realising with a jolt that Dier had sat down across from him and was looking at him expectantly, as if he'd asked a question that Jan hadn't heard.

"What?" he said, shaking his head a little to try to clear it.

"You all right, man?" Eric asked, his eyebrow raised. "You've been spacey all day, and now you're sitting here by yourself staring at the wall. What gives?"

"Nothing," Jan mumbled, fighting down a blush. "Just… kind of a lot on my mind, I guess. I'll be fine."

"If you say so." Dier paused for a moment, then his face changed, as if he'd come to a decision. "Can I… can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Jan said, surprised. 

Dier took his time, chewing each bite of his lunch with exaggerated thoroughness as he worked his way up to it. "Dele's been… well… we've been talking about trying…" He stopped and glanced around, then lowered his voice. "Poly," he mumbled.

Jan's eyebrow shot up. "What brought this on?"

Eric shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Dunno. He won't say, but I wonder if maybe he's got his eye on someone else."

Jan frowned. "You guys having problems?"

Eric shrugged, studying his hands where they rested on the table between them. "Not exactly. I think he's maybe a little bit more freaked out about how much he likes some of this stuff we've been trying than he's let on. I kind of wonder if he's…" Eric paused for a moment to put together what he wanted to say. "Maybe he's trying to explore as much as he can on the less conventional side of relationships as he can, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... he's definitely enjoying it, all the… suggestions." Eric's cheeks pinkened slightly as he thought about it.  _ "Really _ enjoying it. But he keeps asking what else we can try, too."

"What have you tried so far?"

Eric shrugged. "Well, not all that much, really. We've done most of the things that you and Paulo told us about, and he's started looking into other kinks and stuff to try. And that's all fine, but he keeps bringing up… well, you guys, and how not being monogamous seems to be working out fine for all of you, and…"

He trailed off at the look on Jan's face.

"You mean, me and Paulo and Sophie? And Patricia?"

"Um…" Eric froze, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlamps of a car that was bearing down on him.

Jan narrowed his eyes. "Or are you saying you think there's someone else involved?"

Eric coughed uncomfortably. "I swear, I didn't mean to--"

"How did you find out?" Jan interrupted him. He had no idea whether Eric knew about Toby, or Harry, or both, but he needed to find out, and quickly.

Eric shrugged. "Just figured it out, me and Del. Del knows him well enough that he could tell something was up, and I could tell something was different for you. We watched you both, and it wasn't hard to see."

_ Harry, then.  _

Jan made himself take a deep breath before he responded. "Okay. Putting aside your annoying habit of jumping to conclusions about my private life, how do you feel about the whole idea?"

Eric shrugged, but he looked uncomfortable. "Dunno really. I mean, things have gone all right so far, so I suppose there's no harm in trying, is there?"

Jan gave an exasperated sigh. "That's a  _ terrible _ reason to do this, E.D.," he said, his voice low but intense. "Poly isn't just another kink to try because your boyfriend is  _ bored. _ You're talking about getting another person involved, not buying a new toy to try."

Eric's face was getting redder and redder as Jan went on. "I know that, I swear--"

Jan ignored him. "You're talking about a fundamental change to the structure of your relationship, and it has to be something that you both want, or it won't work." He gave Eric a hard look, his eyes narrowed. "So is it  _ really _ what you want?"

"No," Eric mumbled, staring down at his plate. "No, I-- I only want him, not anyone else."

"Then why are you even considering it?"

Eric shrugged awkwardly. "I mean, if it's what Dele wants…"

"Listen to me," Jan said as firmly as he could while still keeping his voice at little more than a whisper. "It's sweet that you're willing to do this for him, but you also deserve to have the kind of relationship  _ you  _ want. And if you don't want this, then you shouldn't force yourself into it just for Dele."

"But what if… what if he leaves me over it?" Eric asked miserably. "I couldn't…"

But Jan shook his head. "No way. I don't buy it for a second that he's actually willing to risk what you have over this. You've seen the way he looks at you, right?"

Eric shrugged again, looking uncertain.

"Trust me," Jan said confidently. "I doubt he really wants this, especially if you think he's feeling uneasy about how much he's enjoying your dynamic. I bet if you stand firm, he'll back down."

Eric snorted. "I don't think I want to take that bet, thanks. Bit much for me to lose there."

Jan rolled his eyes. "Definitely no actual bets here. Still in quite enough trouble from the last stupid bet I made." He rubbed his jaw absently, stopping only when Eric raised an eyebrow at him.

"What…?"

But Jan shook his head. "Just… never mind. Talk to Dele, okay? Tell him how you feel. It's never bad to be honest, I promise."

He had a feeling Eric still wasn't sold on the idea, but just then Toby came over and sat down, effectively ending the conversation. It gave Jan a headache sometimes, having to keep up with who knew what about the various secret relationships in their little world, but until and unless things changed in the wider world of football, he rather doubted that any of them would be able to go public any time soon.

It amused him to see the way Eric and Toby glanced at each other. Both clearly wanted to talk to him but neither felt comfortable doing that in the other's presence. It was a silently awkward stalemate, but thankfully it only lasted for a few seconds before Eric gave up and went off, presumably to find Dele.

"What was that about?" Toby asked quietly, glancing at Dier's retreating form with a puzzled look on his face.

"Nothing," Jan said shortly. "What's up?"

Toby raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that the tone you want to take with me?"

"Here, yes," Jan all but snapped before he could stop himself. He bit his lip when Toby's other eyebrow shot up to join the first.

"Somebody's irritable today, eh?"

Jan controlled himself with an effort. "Can't think why," he answered, but he dutifully lowered his eyes. The last thing he needed was to get himself in deeper with Toby this early in the week.

Luckily his temporary Dom seemed more amused than anything. "I've got something for you. Finish eating and come with me."

Curiosity rose up in him despite himself, so Jan obediently finished eating and followed Toby out of the canteen. The distraction of his conversation with Eric had at least served to make his body behave itself for now, he noticed gratefully.

Toby took him first to the dressing room, where he retrieved a small package from his cubby and immediately ducked out the door again, leading Jan down a sparsely used hallway and into an empty meeting room. He ushered Jan inside, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it with a suddenly wicked grin on his face.

"On your knees," Toby said in a low growl.

"Again?" sighed Jan, but he sank down in front of Toby regardless. He had known that Toby planned to take full advantage of this arrangement, but somehow he hadn't really expected Toby to do this here.

"Absolutely," Toby rumbled from above him, his hands fumbling with the waistband of his shorts. "Been thinking about this all morning. Open."

Jan flushed and obeyed, his body suddenly hot with humiliation. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, a small whimper escaping him when Toby grabbed his hair with one hand and fed his cock between Jan's parted lips with the other.

Despite his physical frustration and the low-key irritation that had been festering in him all morning, it somehow felt as though sucking Toby off now was the only thing that could possibly make it better. He was able to focus better than he had all morning. He had a job to do, one he could throw himself into without reservation, and he found himself swallowing Toby down even more greedily than usual. If he wasn't going to be allowed to come, then making Toby come so hard he saw stars was the next best thing. Besides, if he did well and behaved himself, then maybe, just maybe, Toby might relent.

He had to put a good deal more effort into his self-control than usual to keep from getting too excited, though. He couldn't keep from getting hard, of course, but that would've been just about impossible. He had to be satisfied with just keeping from coming in his pants, particularly when Toby came, groaning and holding him down on his cock so hard that Jan actually choked a bit. He pounded against Toby's thigh until he let go, then pulled off, coughing weakly, and felt the last of Toby's cum dribble lazily down his chin.

"Good boy," Toby breathed, swiping a finger through that trickle of cum on his face, rubbing it into Jan's skin with a satisfied smile on his face. "God, you're so fucking good."

Jan didn't quite trust himself to answer that, so he just sat back on his heels and brought up a hand to wipe himself off.

"Don't," Toby said sharply, but when Jan looked up at him in confusion, he saw that Toby's eyes were tender. "Leave it there."

Jan had to bite his lip at that, but he dropped his hand back to his side without protest. Toby rubbed at the stain a little more, then made a soft noise of approval. "There. Can't see it anymore, but I'll know it's there.  _ You'll _ know it's there."

"Fuck," Jan grumbled. How was he going to get through the rest of the day without exploding, if he had to walk around with Toby's cum still on his face?

"Got something for you," Toby said, retrieving the little package he had brought from the dressing room from the table where he had dropped it. "Here."

It was just a small cardboard box with a label on it from a courier service. It was common enough for the players to have things sent to the training centre, especially when there were privacy concerns, but Jan couldn't think what Toby might want to give him that would have to be sent over so quickly.

He pulled the packing tape off quickly, and opened the box to find…

"What is this?" he asked, baffled by the small metal device he took from the box. The shape was slightly suggestive, but he couldn't begin to imagine what it was for.

"It's a cage," Toby said, his grin positively feral now. "For your cock."

"For… wait, I'm supposed to  _ wear _ this?" Jan couldn't quite believe his ears. It didn't look like it could possibly fit, let alone be comfortable.

"Come on, Jantje, I thought you knew all about BDSM," Toby said with an evil glint in his eye. "How have you never seen one of these before?"

Jan glared up at his friend, aware that he was probably crimson from head to toe. "I never said I was an expert," he muttered, turning the metal cage over in his hands. "How do  _ you _ know about something like this, anyway?"

He got a long-suffering sigh in answer. "It's called the internet," Toby said patiently. "Now then… you have to be soft when you put that on, or it won't fit, obviously. And…"

Toby took the box back from Jan and hunted in it for a second, the packing paper rustling as he dug through it. "Aha," he said triumphantly, holding his hand out. Jan stared at the small padlock in his palm, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Are you serious?"

Toby ignored the question. "I'll keep the key, of course."

"Of course," Jan echoed numbly. "What about training? What about the next match?"

Toby shrugged. "It's supposed to be comfortable enough to wear even during physical activity. If it's a problem, I'll let you take it off for training, and the match, but then it'll be up to you to keep yourself under control."

"Wait, so this thing is supposed to--?"

"Yup, should keep you from even getting hard, as long as you're wearing it correctly," Toby said smugly. "Which will be round the clock. We don't want any more accidents, do we?"

"Fuck," Jan muttered, feeling dazed. "And when do I get to take it off again?"

_ "I _ will take it off you again at the end of the week."

Jan glared down at the thing in his hand. "What if I don't want to do this anymore?" he asked sulkily.

Toby's eyes softened, just for a moment. "If you really want out, you just have to say so," he said, sounding disappointed. "I don't want… I mean…"

Jan got to his feet hastily, curling a hand around the back of Toby's neck. "I'll play along," he whispered. "I love you, you know."

A soft noise escaped from Toby, and he tipped his head forward to press their foreheads together. "I love you too," he whispered back. "So much." He bit his lip then, looking uncertain. "You don't have to put it on right now," he offered. "Take it home, think it over."

Jan smiled. "I can do that." He took the padlock, dug in the box until he found the key, unlocked it, then put the key into Toby's hand and put the cage and the open lock back into the box, reapplying the packing tape as best he could in hopes of keeping it shut until he could get it home.

He stopped to kiss Toby again before they left the meeting room, though. "I didn't really expect this from you," he mumbled. "Kind of like it, though."

"Good," Toby said, and the wicked smirk was back. He pinched Jan on the ass, nipped at Jan's ear, and then shooed him out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter leads directly into [Sit Down, My Friend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24778150) 😁
> 
> What could possibly be going on with Dele and Eric? Hmm...............


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the week seemed to crawl by for Jan. To his surprise he adjusted fairly quickly to wearing the cage, and even found himself forgetting that it was there more often than not. He was even able to wear it for training, so long as he traded his usual leggings for looser shorts, though he begged Toby for permission not to wear it for the match on Saturday, and Toby agreed to take it off-- _if_ Jan was going to start the game. To his dismay, when the roster was announced, he was on the bench. He knew he hadn't been playing quite up to his usual standard lately, but it was still disheartening to be benched.

That night, Jan admitted as much to Toby. They were stretched out naked on Toby's bed, cuddling in the aftermath of yet another blowjob. Jan was starting to take a certain fierce pride in his ability to make Toby lose control quickly, and was even keeping a running tally in his head of just how many times he had made his temporary Dom come this week. For one thing, that made it easier to be sure to balance it out for Sophie as Toby had ordered.

Jan was resting his chin on his folded arms, watching with a fond smile as Toby yawned and stretched next to him, but he couldn't stop himself from drifting back into brooding over being left on the bench for the game the following day. He knew Toby could see it on his face, too, despite his best efforts to keep it hidden.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Toby asked gently, stroking Jan's face with the backs of his fingers.

Jan shrugged. "Won't change anything," he mumbled.

Toby frowned. "Maybe not, but keeping it in will only make it worse, won't it? Isn't that kind of what happened after the Watford game?"

Jan felt his face twist in a wry smile. "Partly, I suppose. But… not just that." He let out a long sigh.

Toby circled a finger tip gingerly around the bones at Jan's wrist. "You never did really tell me about that," he said tentatively.

Jan winced. "I know," he admitted. "Paulo told me to, but then, well, I got distracted with Harry, and…"

"You forgot," Toby said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Jan whispered. It wasn't the first time Toby had been bumped to the back of the line, figuratively speaking, when it came to Jan's priorities. It was never intentional, it was just that Toby was less obtrusive, less openly demanding of attention than either Paulo or Harry. "I didn't mean to…"

"You never do. Doesn't matter," he said brusquely when Jan tried to protest. "Just… talk to me now."

Jan swallowed hard, trying to force the painful lump from his throat. "I was… well, I guess I was jealous," he confessed.

"Jealous? Of what?"

"You," Jan whispered, ignoring the prickle that was developing behind his eyes. Toby didn't say anything, just bit his lip and gestured for Jan to go on. "All this drama about contracts, I don't know. You getting yours…" His voice died away as his vision blurred. Toby's hand crept into his, squeezed gently, but Jan was still struggling too much to continue.

"You'll get yours," Toby whispered. "I know it."

"No, you don't," Jan rasped. "You-- you can't know that, Tobes. It's sweet that you believe in me, but look at the way I've been playing lately. I'm trying, I swear I am, but it's not helping. I'm not a starter anymore. I'm g-getting… getting… _old."_

He was crying too hard to go on. He buried his face in his folded arms, biting down on his wrist to keep from screaming.

Toby didn't say anything for a while. His hand in Jan's was warm and solid, even if it trembled a bit.

"If I could make them give you a new contract I would," he finally said. "It's the least you deserve after eight years."

"That doesn't matter," Jan said, taken aback by how bitter he sounded. "Mourinho's no sentimentalist, nor is Levy. If I'm not an asset, they'll cut me loose, and they'd be right to do it."

"Jantje, no," Toby murmured, sounding desperately sad.

"Anyway, that's about all there is to it," Jan mumbled, still not lifting his head. If he had to look at Toby's eyes, see how sad they were, he knew he would break down again. "I'll be gone soon, and it'll just be you and Paulo."

_"No,"_ Toby growled, and to Jan's astonishment, Toby's hand closed suddenly on his hair, yanked his head up, and Toby's lips were crashing down on his, his tongue was thrusting urgently into Jan's mouth. Toby pushed at him, rolled him over onto his back, rolling on top of him without breaking the kiss. Toby's weight was pushing him down into the mattress, and it was oddly comforting. The suddenness of it was nicely timed to serve as a distraction, a reminder of where they were and what they had been doing, though Toby was still soft from having spent himself down Jan's throat only a few minutes before.

"I don't care if you leave," Toby growled. "Don't care if you move to Italy or Spain or the moon. It will _never_ be just me and Paulo. I… I like Paulo, honest I do, but you…" He caught Jan's lips in another hungry kiss. "I love you, Jan. I'm _in love_ with you. And I have been since I was sixteen."

Jan felt his whole body flush, his arms closing around Toby's back. "I love you," he said, again and again, between kisses. "I wish I had known all along. Wish I'd had the sense to love you all along."

"Doesn't matter," Toby whispered. "Long as you do now, that's all that matters."

"I do," Jan whispered back, staring up into Toby's eyes. "I love you so much."

Toby bit his lip then, searching in Jan's eyes for a moment. "I… I'm not always good at volunteering this sort of thing, but…"

"But what?" Jan asked softly, trailing his fingers lightly up and down Toby's back.

"I… you don't have to… it wouldn't matter anyway, but…"

"What, Tobes?" Jan repeated as patiently as he could.

"If… if I could…" Toby bit his lip again. "I would marry you if I could," he blurted out, closing his eyes. "Not _instead_ of Shani, just… if I could marry you too, I would, that's all."

Jan froze in astonishment, feeling Toby tremble in his arms. He had never expected any of them to bring up any such thing-- after all, Jan and Toby were both married already, and even if they weren't, the taboo would have made it impossible. It had never felt like something that would even be worthwhile to think about.

But…

He could tell how much it had cost Toby to say it. It was true that he was usually the more reticent of them, giving away little of how he felt until something forced it from him. It had taken Jan by surprise when Toby had been the first to say _I love you_ , only a week ago now, when Paulo had brought him home again after the Watford game. It had taken him by surprise to realise, all at once, how much he _did_ love Toby back. If Toby was the more reticent of the two of them, well, Jan had to admit that he was by far the less self-aware of them, often not understanding his own feelings until something forced it on him.

But if Toby could say it, could let himself be vulnerable by admitting this, then maybe Jan could put forth a similar effort to consciously acknowledge how he felt, instead of stumbling into it blindly.

He took a deep breath. "Toby…" he breathed. "I love you so much, _god._ I've never thought about it before, really, but… if there was a way that I could… could make what we have permanent, stay together no matter what…" He swallowed. "I would too."

He wasn't even sure why he couldn't quite bring himself to say the word _marry_ out loud. It felt too much like a betrayal of Sophie, maybe. But the truth was that he loved Toby just as much as he did Sophie, if not exactly in the same ways. They each gave him different things, and he would no sooner give up what he had with Toby than he would Sophie.

Toby bent his head again, found Jan's lips, kissed him longingly, making his head spin. For a moment, lost in that kiss, Jan wondered fleetingly what that might have been like. A life where he had married Toby. It sent a wave of dizziness through him so intense that he had to cling even more tightly to Toby to regain his equilibrium.

"I love you," he mumbled, again and again. "No matter what happens. No matter if I stay or go. I'll always love you."

They kissed like that for a long time, and lapsed into an even longer silence after that, just laying there in each other's arms.

"I want to do something," Jan said suddenly, surprising himself.

"What's that?" Toby asked, sounding only mildly curious as he nuzzled gently at Jan's jaw.

"I don't know. Just… something." He knew he wasn't being clear, but his mind was racing too fast to allow for time to explain. "Something… something like…"

It came to him in a flash, so suddenly that he jumped-- or would have, if Toby hadn't still been on top of him.

"Shit," he breathed, wincing at the thought of what it would involve. But it would be worth it.

"What's up?" Toby said, puzzled. Jan couldn't quite contain a grin as he looked up into Toby's eyes, so big and so very blue, and explained his plan.

  
  


***

  
  


They had to wait until after the game the following day, of course, but luckily it was a relatively early kickoff. The game itself proved to be a frustrating one-- they drew against Southampton, meaning that it would have to be replayed. Jan spent the entirety of the game on the bench, which at least meant that he got to sit with Paulo. They didn't speak much, of course-- it would have drawn too much attention-- but it was nice just to sit close to Paulo, let his presence help soothe the wound of being left on the bench.

He spent a lot of the game debating with himself whether or not he should tell Paulo about his plan, get his permission first. Under ordinary circumstances it wouldn't even have been a question; he would have sought out Paulo's permission before even considering it. But for this week, Jan belonged to Toby, not Paulo. It was only a temporary arrangement, of course, but Jan was happy to let it serve as an excuse; he wasn't at all sure what Paulo would think of what he had in mind.

Besides… if Jan dug a little bit deeper, he found that there was just a hint of resentment under the surface. Oh, he knew he was being punished, and deservedly so, but he found he still didn't particularly like being given away like this. He had given himself to Paulo, not to Toby, and being lent to Toby, even for only a week, still stung. If he had to be punished, he wanted Paulo to be the one doing it.

No, he decided, in this instance he preferred to ask for forgiveness, not permission. This was between himself and Toby.

After the game was done, he tried not to give away just how excited he was, at least not while they were still in the dressing room. Toby met his eyes only once, but it still sent a jolt through his body that took him back to the first time Paulo had pulled his hair. It was different, of course, but this was no less exciting, no less electric.

They didn't speak in the dressing room, didn't say a word to each other until they met at Toby's car afterward. Toby didn't even try to tease him with his keyring the way he had been doing ever since Jan had put on the cage, taunting him with the key to his freedom right under his nose.

"Are you really sure about this?" Toby asked softly once they were on their way, pulling out of the car park.

"Yes," Jan answered automatically. He had been thinking of almost nothing else for hours now, and there was no way he could stand to change his mind now.

"Okay, then," Toby said, biting his lip. "Everything's arranged, I called this morning. We'll go in through the back entrance, so hopefully no one will see us, and they'll have us in a private room the whole time."

Jan sucked in a deep breath, let it out, reached across to take Toby's hand. He was still excited, but he was nervous too, and it helped to have Toby to hold on to.

Toby squeezed his hand gently, a shy smile flashing across his face, and they drove the rest of the way there in silence.

When they arrived and began looking for a place to park, Jan stared up at the sign, his heart hammering in his ears. It was simple enough, just a small black square hanging from a corner of the storefront, bearing the logo and underneath it in simple white lettering, one word. 

_TATTOO_

"You're sure this place is good?" Jan asked, trying not to sound as uncertain as he felt.

Toby nodded. "I called up my guy in Antwerp for a recommendation, and this was the first one on his list. Although really, for as small a thing as you want, most places would be able to do just fine."

"What, we could have gone just anywhere?" Jan said doubtfully.

"Technically, yes," Toby said with a smile. "But… for this… well, I wanted to take you to the best I could find. And my artist in Antwerp says that they're used to being discreet. _And_ the artist that I booked…"

Jan raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Well, I was worried about it being obvious that we're, well…"

"Together?"

Toby swallowed and nodded. "I mean, any professional should be able to be relied on to not talk, but…"

"Better to be careful," Jan finished for him thoughtfully.

"Exactly. Anyway, I picked an artist that's, well, gay."

Jan snorted. "That's not exactly a guarantee he won't talk, you know."

"I know, but it's the best I could think of. I'm hoping he'll get how important it is for us to not be outed, is all."

"Makes sense, I guess."

The artist met them at the back door with a warm smile. "Right this way, lads," he said cheerfully, his voice soft and sweet, not at all what Jan had been expecting.

"Thanks," Jan mumbled. "Did Toby tell you…?"

The artist shrugged. "Not the first time I've had someone come in through the back, is it? Don't you worry about a thing. Right in here, if you please."

The room he ushered them into was small but brightly lit and spotlessly clean. The walls were decorated with photographs, a mixture of artistic black and white shots of London and pictures of various tattoos, presumably the artist's own work.

"Right then, who first?" 

Jan and Toby looked at each other. "Do you want me to go first? I've done this before, after all."

"No." Jan swallowed but shook his head. "If I have to sit and watch yours first I might chicken out. Besides, it was my idea. Mine first."

"First ink, is it?" the artist asked, not unkindly. "Don't you worry, mate, you're in good hands. I'm always gentle with virgins." He gave a cheeky little wink when Jan let out a startled laugh. "So, what's it going to be?"

To his surprise, the process was remarkably painless, so to speak. The artist listened to his rather vague description of what he wanted and made helpful suggestions until they were both satisfied with the design. 

Jan wanted to hold Toby's hand when it came time to actually go under the needle, but the artist was sceptical. "Mind you don't break his fingers, is all."

Jan blushed, though it was probably indistinguishable from the general flush he had been sporting since he had told the artist what he wanted. It deepened when the artist had him slide his joggers and pants down over his hips-- not enough to make the cage visible, Jan was careful to ensure, but enough to let the artist have easy access to the spot they had chosen: just on the outside of his left hip, but in a spot that would be covered so long as he was wearing underwear.

He wasn't really prepared for the way the machine buzzed, even though Toby had mentioned it when telling him what to expect. It did spook him a bit, but he calmed quickly when Toby reached over and took his hand, clasping it in both of his.

"Don't need my fingers to do my job anyway," Toby said offhandedly when the artist raised an eyebrow at him.

"All right, then," the artist said cheerfully once everything was ready. "Here we go."

Jan braced himself as best he could without injuring Toby, but to his surprise the pain was remarkably mild. It felt rather more like a sting that went on and on, but it wasn't bad enough to really justify how anxious he had been about it. It still wasn't something he would choose to do for fun, but it was easily bearable when it was for Toby.

He stared at it for a long time in the full length mirror once the artist was done. It had taken less than five minutes, but once it was done and cleaned up, the result was a small, stylized _T_ surrounded by a circle made up of a tiny sequence of numbers and letters: _51 1683 N 4 3943 E 02 03 1989 IHVJ_.

Toby's arms went around his waist as he stood staring at it in the mirror. "I love you," he whispered in Jan's ear. "Can't believe you really did it."

"Anything for you," Jan whispered back. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the artist watching them, but with a patient smile on his face.

"Let's bandage it up then," he said briskly. "And then it'll be your turn, blondie."

Toby blushed and laughed, letting go of Jan so that the artist could apply the small square of cling film and tape. Jan winced slightly when he pulled his pants back up over it, careful not to disturb the bandage more than necessary. It would definitely be sore for a while.

Watching Toby get his felt almost anticlimactic, after that. Because it was basically a twin to Jan's tattoo, the design process took almost no time at all, and Toby didn't so much as flinch when it came to the needles. Jan still held onto his hand, just because he didn't want to let go, but it was clear that Toby hardly felt it at all.

Soon enough it was done, and Jan gazed down at it admiringly: a small _J_ on Toby's right hip, done in the exact same style. The circle around it read _51 1559 N 4 1544 E 24 04 1987 IHVJ_.

"What do you think?" the artist asked, smiling up at Jan.

"It's perfect," he whispered, unable to tear his eyes from it. He hardly even heard the artist explaining how to take care of the tattoo until it was healed. He would need to know that, of course, but he knew Toby would be able to help him. As always, when it came down to it, he knew he could trust Toby absolutely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Cody.

Keeping a secret, even from Paulo and Harry, was a new experience for him.

He knew it wouldn't stay a secret forever, of course, at least not from his other lovers, who would no doubt spot it the second they saw Jan naked again. But he found that he rather liked having it be so secret, for now. It somehow made the tattoo he had gotten to indelibly bind him to Toby even more thrilling than it already was.

And, to his surprise, it _was_ thrilling. He had never seriously considered getting a tattoo before in his life-- he wasn't fond of needles, and he had always been dubious of wanting anything so permanently engraved on his body. But in the absence of being able to make any other meaningful gesture to establish the permanence of his relationship with Toby…

He had had flashes of guilt, too. He had four other partners, after all, and he didn't really intend to get anything tattooed for any of the others. But then, the others all had their own things with Jan that bound them together that none of the others did, he reasoned. He was married to Sophie, of course, and Paulo was his Dom, had collared him, which was just as binding, as far as Jan was concerned. And he in turn had collared Harry, had claimed him, made Harry his. Dries… well, perhaps it wasn't quite as concrete with Dries as with the others, but they had loved each other for nearly as long as he had been with Sophie, and it wasn't even a question that they would go on loving each other indefinitely. His relationship with Dries lacked the strange insecurity that he knew Toby, at least, had felt with him, owing to Toby's shyness and Jan's own obliviousness, and it was Toby that had most needed something like this.

Besides, Jan thought, if any of his partners were going to be the inspiration for him to get a tattoo, it had to be Toby. He was the only one of them that was a tattoo enthusiast, the only one who had extensive ink already. Tattoos were as much a part of Toby as his obsession with his hair, or his deep and abiding love for the city of Antwerp. They were part of what made him who he was.

As the week wore on, he found he rather liked having a secret to share with Toby alone. Sophie had seen the tattoo, but hadn't commented on it. But every time they were together, he could see what the knowledge meant to Toby, could see how happy it had clearly made him. He was discreet as ever at training and in public, giving away precious little to indicate that anything was different, and Jan was sure that no one else could see what he saw in Toby's eyes. But every time their eyes met, an intense wash of emotion went through him, remembering what they had, what was between them, _their secret._

In private, though, Toby's passion was inflamed, boiled over, and Jan found himself on his knees at what seemed like every possible opportunity, multiple times a day. Toby managed to persuade Sophie to let them spend almost every night together, and when Toby would collapse, exhausted, onto the bed, Jan would gather him up in his arms and whisper to him, tell him just how much Jan loved him. He would hold him until he recovered, kissing every bit of Toby's skin he could reach.

Maybe Jan should have been getting tired of it by the end of the week, he reflected. He had never been worked quite so intensely in such a short span of time, not during all the months he had belonged to Paulo. It was as if Toby was trying to cram years' worth of love, desire, jealousy, possessiveness, into one week, and despite the physical fatigue, he thought he could never, ever tire of it.

All too soon, though, it was over, or just about. Jan spent the evening of Paulo and Harry's second date staring rather pensively out of Toby's bedroom window, somehow both nervously imagining what might happen tonight and completely and utterly relaxed about the whole thing. He was completely powerless to affect any of it, forbidden to contact either of them outside of training until the week was up, tomorrow morning. It was enough to help him sink at least partway into the bliss of subspace, if not quite enough to let him drop all the way. 

He turned his face, just enough to nuzzle at Toby's thigh where it lay pillowing his head, dreamily wondering if he was tired enough to sleep yet, to make this night pass faster, to fast forward to tomorrow. Win or lose, he didn't really care, but he was dying of curiosity, itching to find out what may or may not have happened between Paulo and Harry this week.

He was really hoping that _something_ had. Harry's stubborn jealousy had been the one dampener on the situation, the biggest stumbling block within the polycule as a whole. He didn't expect that sex with Paulo was going to immediately and completely change Harry's outlook, but it might be enough to at least suggest a different perspective, and with luck that could be built on. 

It wasn't even just about proving a point to Harry, or about making his own life simpler by easing the tension between his young boyfriend and… well, everyone else in his life. But if there was a way to lay the foundation now, then maybe Harry wouldn't have to be completely alone if and when Jan left Tottenham.

He let out a slightly wistful sigh at that thought. He dreaded the day, but had a feeling that it was likely coming if he couldn't manage to turn things around. He had just about five months to go, now, and he had to start facing the possibility that he might be looking for a new club in the summer-- and the chances were that it would not be a club in England.

He wouldn't have even minded the prospect under different circumstances. The idea of a new challenge, a new culture to absorb, a new language to learn… if all he had to consider was himself, Sophie and the kids, then he would almost embrace it. Even his relationships with Paulo, Toby, and Dries… it wouldn't be ideal, but he knew without a doubt that they would be able to continue as strong as ever, each of them able to turn to other partners for support to help cope with the distance.

But the idea of Harry being alone was almost more than he could bear. He had no idea what he would do if this failed, because he didn't think he could stand to leave England knowing how it would shatter Harry.

He sighed again and pressed his lips to Toby's leg, amused as always by the way Toby's fuzzy leg hair tickled at his lips.

"Try not to worry too much at it," Toby rumbled gently. "Getting yourself all anxious won't help anything, you know."

"I know," Jan said quietly. "I just…" He trailed off, thinking.

Toby hummed soothingly, running his fingers through Jan's hair. "Just one more night," he said, his voice somewhere between comforting and regretful.

"Yeah," Jan murmured. He took a deep breath, let it out. "Do me a favour?"

"When have I not?"

"If… when…"

Toby went still under him, held his breath for a moment.

"Will you help look out for him?" Jan knew without asking that Toby would understand what he meant, who he was talking about.

"If he'll let me," Toby replied. Jan knew that that was just about as unlikely as Harry deciding to come round on Paulo, but he also knew that that was as good as a promise from Toby, and that did help, a bit at least.

"Thank you, Tobes," whispered Jan.

"You're welcome, Jantje." Toby hesitated then. "Is it okay if we focus on us for a while? It's our last night… well, like this, and…"

"Of course it is," Jan assured him, lifting his head to smile up into Toby's beautiful eyes, so very blue and now somehow both tender and smouldering.

"That's my good boy," Toby said, his voice half a growl, and Jan lifted his head from Toby's lap in vague astonishment, eyeing the semi that was beginning to develop there.

"Again?"

"Fuck, yes," Toby sighed, taking a firm grip on Jan's hair and pulling his mouth down to bump against his half-hard dick. "Open."

Jan obeyed, let Toby thrust into his mouth, pull his head up and down by that grip on his hair, a thrill tingling all the way down to his toes at being so blatantly used. After a minute or so, though, Toby dropped his hand, let Jan take over the actual work of sucking his cock, going at him with perhaps slightly more enthusiasm than usual. He was relieved that the week was almost over, of course, but at the same time he had enjoyed this experience with Toby, getting to take this time to focus solely on the two of them. He'd never had that before, not with Toby. All the others had had periods where Jan was able to devote most or all of his attention to them, but he and Toby had only had brief snatches here and there, until now.

He swallowed Toby's dick eagerly, sliding it down his throat with practised ease. Before this week, he had been pretty good at this, he supposed, but this week had definitely honed his skills to a fine edge, as well as stoking his enjoyment of it, pushing it to new heights. He could feel his body trying to respond, trying desperately to achieve an erection, but the cage was unyielding, and so his arousal could only pool low in his belly with nowhere to go.

_Tomorrow,_ he thought dizzily, even as Toby crashed over the edge, thrusting urgently, filling his mouth with his cum, hot and bitter and delicious.

"Jan," Toby gasped, his fists slowly relaxing in Jan's hair as he came down again. _"God,_ you're incredible. I love you…"

"I love you," Jan whispered, letting Toby's softening dick slip out of his mouth again.

"You're so good at that," Toby panted, stroking his fingers tenderly through Jan's sweaty hair. "Can't believe you're not sick of it by now."

"Mmm, never," Jan murmured, his voice a throaty purr. "If anything, I love it more than ever."

That drew a faint groan from Toby's lips. "Sure hope so. You're in for another week like this if you lose, aren't you?"

Jan scoffed. "There's no way I can lose. You know perfectly well how persuasive Paulo can be when he wants something."

"Yeah," Toby said, almost ruefully, clearly recalling how easily Paulo had drawn him in. "I guess the question is whether this is really something he wants, isn't it?"

Something twisted uneasily in Jan's stomach. He had assumed that it was, based on how readily Paulo had agreed to the bet, but his Dom could be enigmatic at times, making it hard to guess what his real feelings might be. He worried for a moment that he had somehow coerced Paulo into doing something he didn't want to do, only to dismiss the notion with a snort. He didn't think he had ever managed that, either intentionally or accidentally. Paulo was not the type of man to let himself be persuaded to do anything he would rather not.

"Yeah, suppose so," he said thoughtfully, turning his head to the side to look at Toby's new tattoo again. He wanted to kiss it, lavish that spot with affection, but that would have to wait until it was fully healed. For now, it was enough just to look at it, to feel the slight pain that still lingered in his own tattoo, to enjoy this moment with this man he loved so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr as [amethyst-fox-jv](http://amethyst-fox-jv.tumblr.com).

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Dance Monkey by Tones and I.


End file.
